Between bumper stamp orders I found time this week to do some illustrations for a family friend - they are to be inserted into a filmed monologue recounting a calamitous trip to Paris. Bit of fun, and don't you just feel for Steve! "We arrive at Calais; everyone else disembarks but we remain on the boat because our bus's automatic jacks refuse to work so it can't get up onto the boat's exit ramp; general consternation of numerous boat crew who envisage living with us and our bus indefinitely; after 3 fruitless attempts Steve gives up, reverses back down to the vehicle deck, miraculously executes a 15-point turn on the vehicle deck in an 82-seater double-decker, reverses up the vehicle ramp and continues backwards over the 200-yard-long access bridge, to the astonishment and applause of everyone in vehicles waiting to get on board." "Large ambulance, called by paramedics, arrives; takes Pete, his wife and their luggage off to hospital." "We follow the queue as it suddenly moves off, trundle our luggage down the road to a concrete wasteland strewn with rubbish, drag it up three steep flights of foul-smelling steps to another concrete wasteland, stagger past a seedy fast food stall and stop outside the entrance to the deeply unappealing Hotel Beau Rivage." "We observe that the upstairs front window of our bus is completely smashed, and discover that Steve has had an argument with a slightly-too-low overpass while trying to find his way round the concrete jungle after dropping us off earlier."